They thought we were extinct

2009-04-02T13:32:00.007+01:00

'You have a choice of spoon or fork.'

2008-05-04T11:34:00.003+01:00

'The views expressed by this club are those
of the club alone and do not necessarily
represent those of Phemisaurus.'

2008-03-23T15:48:00.008Z

'You can't argue with the laws of nature
...this is you here, by the way.'

2008-03-23T15:40:00.002Z

'Stop laughing!'

2008-01-27T17:02:00.000Z

'Neutrality. It works for me.'

2008-01-27T11:17:00.000Z

'Damn, you look good in that little number.'

2008-01-24T21:21:00.000Z

'Well? What more evidence do
you need for your inferiority?'

2007-06-27T22:24:00.000+01:00

'Yeah. But. What is pain anyway?
I mean, it's so difficult to define.'

2007-04-10T00:57:00.000+01:00

'Stop oppressing me,
I have a right to clean my feet!'

2007-04-08T08:55:00.000+01:00

'And that's where this stuff, whatyamacallit,
consent comes in. Now where did I put it?'

2007-02-22T18:20:00.000Z

'You'll be safe in there, my little morsel.
Never can be too careful, what with all
them man-eating dinos about.'

2007-02-17T09:54:00.000Z

'Waiter! There's a penis in my soup.'

2006-12-10T12:49:00.000Z

'Ewww, that's totally gross!
Look at the disgusting growth on that one!'

2006-12-09T01:32:00.000Z

'Oh, goody, it's finally here!
Phemi's waited ages for this one.'

2006-10-22T13:56:00.000+01:00

'Smile!'

2006-09-30T03:05:00.000+01:00

'Don't look at me like that.
I'm a pro-meat vegan.'

Concept by Nectarine

2006-09-06T11:47:00.000+01:00

'Where's the expiry date on this thing?'

2006-08-24T01:04:00.000+01:00

'Huh? Where? What privilege?'

2006-08-21T22:52:00.000+01:00

'Nah mate, my erection problem
is a tad bit different from yours,
but thanks for the advice anyhow.'

2006-08-21T08:31:00.000+01:00

'This demonstration will teach you everything you
need to know about objectivity in the mass media.
Basically, I club you over the head. Then, when I'm
finished, you can club me over the head an equal
number of times.'

2006-07-27T10:40:00.000+01:00

'There is nothing worse than tanlines.'

2006-07-26T08:11:00.000+01:00

Professor Terribilis says:
'Never underestimate the importance of
laughing your oppressor in the face'

2006-07-23T19:48:00.000+01:00

'Granted, post-modernism is somewhat difficult
to explain, but all you need to remember is that
you are a man of agency and you can choose
how to feel about being clubbed over the head'.

2006-07-14T00:56:00.000+01:00

'Sir, we have your test results back. The diagnosis is, as we suspected, Chauvanitis Pigisoma and the prognosis... well, ahem, why don't you take a seat first.'

2006-07-13T17:05:00.001+01:00

'So, your need to dominate is genetically
determined, is it? Then I'm afraid I don't have
a cure, but, on the bright side, I can ensure that
you don't pass it on to the next generation.'

2006-07-11T23:02:00.001+01:00

'Let me get this straight,
you are his best friend
and he did that to you?'

2006-07-11T22:26:00.000+01:00

'Wait 'til I tell you about this great new diet I found.'

2006-07-10T02:12:00.000+01:00

'Well, it's your own stupid fault if it hurts.
I told you to keep still.
Why can't you just relax and enjoy it?'

2006-07-07T00:09:00.000+01:00

'OK, so, I have embarrasing hair growth, like, all over,
but will you love me anyway, please, please, please?'

2006-07-06T20:09:00.000+01:00

'Mate, this must be some sort of misunderstanding.
I mean, isn't this "lift & separate" thingymajiggy
better suited to those dangly bits between your legs?'

2006-07-05T22:27:00.000+01:00

'Of course I take you seriously, schmoopsie-poo.'

2006-07-04T16:15:00.000+01:00

'Don't look so worried.
I'm just going to exercise my freedom of speech.'

2006-06-28T23:09:00.000+01:00

'What do you mean, you don't want a lap dance?'

2006-06-28T08:03:00.000+01:00

'I really don't mind anal sex.
It's not painful at all.'

2006-06-26T13:29:00.000+01:00

'I always try to put myself in men's position.'

2006-06-25T09:00:00.000+01:00

'Here's me giving head.
He said I was doing it wrong.
Something about the teeth.'

2006-06-04T10:04:00.000+01:00

'I tried lipstick.
It gave me dinorrhoea.'

2006-06-03T23:02:00.000+01:00

'Stilettos?
Fabulous for those hard to reach places.'

2006-06-02T17:53:00.000+01:00

'Because I'm worth i-
Huh? On my teeth?
Oh, how embarassing.'