'You have a choice of spoon or fork.'

'The views expressed by this club are those
of the club alone and do not necessarily
represent those of Phemisaurus.'

'You can't argue with the laws of nature
...this is you here, by the way.'

'Stop laughing!'

'Neutrality. It works for me.'

'Damn, you look good in that little number.'

'Well? What more evidence do
you need for your inferiority?'

'Yeah. But. What is pain anyway?
I mean, it's so difficult to define.'

'Stop oppressing me,
I have a right to clean my feet!'

'And that's where this stuff, whatyamacallit,
consent comes in. Now where did I put it?'

'You'll be safe in there, my little morsel.
Never can be too careful, what with all
them man-eating dinos about.'

'Waiter! There's a penis in my soup.'

'Ewww, that's totally gross!
Look at the disgusting growth on that one!'

'Oh, goody, it's finally here!
Phemi's waited ages for this one.'

'Smile!'

'Don't look at me like that.
I'm a pro-meat vegan.'







Concept by Nectarine

'Where's the expiry date on this thing?'

'Huh? Where? What privilege?'

'Nah mate, my erection problem
is a tad bit different from yours,
but thanks for the advice anyhow.'

'This demonstration will teach you everything you
need to know about objectivity in the mass media.
Basically, I club you over the head. Then, when I'm
finished, you can club me over the head an equal
number of times.'

'There is nothing worse than tanlines.'

Professor Terribilis says:
'Never underestimate the importance of
laughing your oppressor in the face'

'Granted, post-modernism is somewhat difficult
to explain, but all you need to remember is that
you are a man of agency and you can choose
how to feel about being clubbed over the head'.

'Sir, we have your test results back. The diagnosis is, as we suspected, Chauvanitis Pigisoma and the prognosis... well, ahem, why don't you take a seat first.'

'So, your need to dominate is genetically
determined, is it? Then I'm afraid I don't have
a cure, but, on the bright side, I can ensure that
you don't pass it on to the next generation.'

'Let me get this straight,
you are his best friend
and he did that to you?'

'Wait 'til I tell you about this great new diet I found.'

'Well, it's your own stupid fault if it hurts.
I told you to keep still.
Why can't you just relax and enjoy it?'

'OK, so, I have embarrasing hair growth, like, all over,
but will you love me anyway, please, please, please?'

'Mate, this must be some sort of misunderstanding.
I mean, isn't this "lift & separate" thingymajiggy
better suited to those dangly bits between your legs?'

'Of course I take you seriously, schmoopsie-poo.'

'Don't look so worried.
I'm just going to exercise my freedom of speech.'

'What do you mean, you don't want a lap dance?'

'I really don't mind anal sex.
It's not painful at all.'

'I always try to put myself in men's position.'

'Here's me giving head.
He said I was doing it wrong.
Something about the teeth.'

'I tried lipstick.
It gave me dinorrhoea.'

'Stilettos?
Fabulous for those hard to reach places.'

'Because I'm worth i-
Huh? On my teeth?
Oh, how embarassing.'